Nurturing Marriage and dating

In my marriage we know that consistently courting keeps our love alive. we love laughing and playing together. we work very hard for our family and that is important but we must also take the time to enjoy our lives together. building and strengthening us as a team for our family and each other. 

Taking time to check in on one another regularly to make sure we are constantly keeping each other happy with regular date nights and learning each other’s love language. Even if you feel your marriage is going well we can and must expect to become better by focusing on the positive and showing love and appreciation on a regular basis. Selfishness is the absence of love and must not be allowed to take residence in your marriage.

"Brothers and sisters, regroup, if that’s what is needed. Do not wait. Rather fill your life with service, education, personality development, love for all, and other such meaningful traits. Live with purpose each day. …… I recommend you come to know your Father in Heaven. Come to love Him. Always remember that He loves you and will give you guidance and support if you will but give Him the chance. Include Him in your decision making. Include Him in your heartaches and heartbreaks. Include Him when you take inventory of your personal worth. “For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men [and women] to perform their labors” (Alma 34:32).

As you strive to become a quality person, commune daily with your Heavenly Father who knows you best of all. He knows your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. You are here on the earth at this time to develop and refine these characteristics. I promise you He will help you. He is aware of your needs."

Elder Marvin J. Ashton

“Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness. How should I love thee? As He does, for that way ‘never faileth.’”Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Group socializing can deny a person the opportunity of the close examination of the character and personality of that special someone so vital to making a wise choice.

You need to get acquainted. Know someone well enough to learn his or her heart and character firsthand and not just his or her “gospel résumé.”

Elder Lance B. Wickman
Of the Seventy

What we call “love” has many dimensions, including the degree to which we know, trust, rely upon, commit to, and make physical contact with that other.

These dimensions are not measured in terms of “on/off” or “either/or”; we could more wisely view each as a continuum from “none” to “totally”.

Wise individuals and couples are careful to touch or have physical intimacy on a lower level than their level of commitment, are less committed to one another than they can and do rely on one another to get needs met, rely on one another less than they can truly trust one another, and know one another more thoroughly than they trust one another.

Consistent and regular dating after you are married will keep this love and romance alive. making time for each other will show love and appreciation. Choose your love and love your choice everyday!!!! 

Friendship in Marriage

   Building your friendship with your spouse will help create a sure foundation to be able to find things that bring joy to your life. One thing that my husband and I do is say “I like you and I love you” this is something that I feel has strengthened our marriage because there is defiantly a difference between the two. When I am especially pleased with him I like him, I always love him, which is very important, but enjoying being with him and liking what he is doing or has done for me and our children brings happiness.

 We each have a set point like with exercise. If we have a strong foundation in our marriage based on mutual respect and trust and have the same eternal goals. If we center our lives on our Savoir and we rtake the time to really enjoy each other’s company we can work through most anything. I believe in the power of positivity and that it can resolve most situations if we treat the situation with kindness and love.  

I agree with the attunement concept of being empathetic of each other. When you know that your spouse is truly concerned about your well-being and feel when you feel, it makes your trust for them more profound and special. On the flip side when there is a disconnect and it is obvious that your partner does not care and you have become complacent with how they feel you are in danger of getting into a negative loop that can only harm your marriage.  

We learn from Gottman that you will find the four horseman and even flooding in stable marriages from time to time but it’s when it takes up permanent residence that it becomes dangerous to the relationship and can be seriously detrimental for the marriage. “Positive sentiment override is like an insurance policy, it dramatically increases the odds that repair attempts will regularly work and defuse tension. It will benefit if you support, reinvigorate, or if necessary resuscitate your friendship.”

“Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes.
"Jesus, our Savior, was the epitome of kindness and compassion.”
~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

I feel very strong about the truth of how important it is to cultivate a deep and lasting friendship. My husband and I met and marriage in a very short time and I already had 4 children. Whenever I hear that you need to look back and remember the good times at the beginning, I kind of shutter because the beginning was just very stressful. I used to think that because we had a rough start we were doomed for failure. I do not believe this anymore, we are more in love now than we have ever been and I know it will only get better. The reason things are so much better now is because we have both decided to focus on the positive and the things we like and admire about each other. We both work full time, are both in school, we have 7 children and 2 grandchildren, so needless to say we are very busy. We take time to see each other and text each other often every day, and we spend every evening and weekend together. We go on regular dates alone and with other couples. We are each other’s number one priority.

Doctrine of Eternal Marriage

Teaching our children, the gospel is our greatest responsibility as parents, the very best way to do this is through our good example of living it ourselves. If we love the Savoir and his gospel and allow it to help us become our very best through obedience in happy ways so our children will have a desire to stay faithful. If we complain or are negative about the things that are required of us, our children will also complain and see service as a burden. We are their primary gospel teachers and we must take this responsibility very seriously. The gospel is happy!!







In the talk Covenant Marriage by Elder Bruce C. Hafen, Of the Seventy, we read, “Many people even wonder these days what marriage is. Should we prohibit same-sex marriage? Should we make divorce more difficult to obtain? Some say these questions are not society’s business, because marriage is a private contract. But as the modern prophets recently proclaimed, “marriage … is ordained of God.” Even secular marriage was historically a three-party covenant among a man, a woman, and the state. Society has a huge interest in the outcome and the offspring of every marriage. So the public nature of marriage distinguishes it from all other relationships. Guests come to weddings because, as Wendell Berry said, sweethearts “say their vows to the community as much as to one another,” giving themselves not only to each other, but also to the common good “as no contract could ever join them.”

Our choices whether we believe it or not affect all those around us for good or bad. We must use our influence for good, there is always someone watching and looking to you for guidance. If we choose to stray we will be responsible for others following, if we choose to stay strong and lift, build and help others, our children will hopefully follow this example.

This is my family when we became a forever family!! 

Defining Marriage

Defining Marriage

Marriage is something that is very sacred and the subject needs to be handled with honor and respect. This subject has become controversial because their have been many that want to change the foundation and purpose of marriage for personal gratification and fulfillment. 

Love is something that we all have the right to have and there are many relationships that allow us to give and receive love. No human wants to be alone and they long for companionship through love and affection, this is something that makes us human, We fulfill this need as we establish and cultivate lasting relationships and one of these relationships is marriage, however, this marriage must be ordained of God to give ourselves and our children the best chance for survival and thrive. Marriage between one man and one woman is ordained of God.  

In the conference address Why Marriage, Why Family by Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the quorum of Twelve Apostles, he says, "A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive—the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come. A critical mass of families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish. That is why communities and nations generally have encouraged and protected marriage and the family as privileged institutions. It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults.”

Children have the right to be raised in an environment where there is love, honor, and respect for the sanctity of marriage and family and complete fidelity in that marriage. Marriage is about more than just the happiness of two adults, we have a responsibility to give our offspring every opportunity to have the truth of what God's bounds are for marriage and family and the complete joy that comes with this truth.

In the Supreme Court ruling and dissents for Obergefell v. Hodges, we read "This universal definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman is no historical coincidence. Marriage did not come about as a result of a political movement, discovery, disease, war, religious doctrine, or any other moving force of world history—and certainly not as a result of a prehistoric decision to exclude gays and lesbians. It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship”

Marriage between a man and a woman stems back here on earth to Adam and Eve and even before with our heavenly parents. Changing this would try and change the very nature of things, which we can not do regardless if the laws of the land allow it. The laws of God cannot and will not change and the consequences or cause and affect of our choices cannot change. 

In the family a proclamation to the world, we learn, "THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

Marriage is a blessing and will bring the most joy, peace and happiness to all those that will honor and respect it along with bringing up their children in the best environment possible.