In my own life and marriage pride has reared its ugly head and has caused damage. We are working on it everyday and know that if we use Christ's love and Atonement we can over come the natural man and exercise charity instead for each other and our children.
Men and woman are different, this is something that developed with our gender long before the earth was created, this does not mean that we cannot respect each other’s differences and work very well together to build a long lasting marriage filled will happiness. What does create problems is when we are selfish and we allow pride to dictate our lives and relationships.
President Benson taught, “Pride adversely affects all our relationships—our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind. Our degree of pride determines how we treat our God and our brothers and sisters. Christ wants to lift us to where He is. Do we desire to do the same for others?” he continues, “Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. (See 2 Ne. 9:42.) There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous. The proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of God.” (John 12:42–43.)”
When we allow pride to govern us we miss out on so many meaningful relationships that could otherwise bring much joy. Jealousy and covetousness are also forms of pride and these make us think we deserve what others have even if we have not earned what they have. We are too concerned with self. We are not following the Lords plan by loving others as ourselves and being happy for their good fortunes. Elder Holland says, “Envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment!”
In marriage this can also cause much harm, H. Wallace Goddard said, “The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others. It is not surprising that we have difficulties in marriage. We so often do the very things that will destroy our relationships.” (Pg 62) This is pride when we allow ourselves to believe that we are better and somehow deserve more and that because of our superiority was must fix others.
C. S. Lewis said, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.) We are too concerned about what others have we cannot be grateful for the many blessings we have. When we are competing with the “jones” we are wasting precious time that could be spent on the people that matter most and building strong relationships.
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